I don't know if i should have woken up in such a peaceful mood after having such an unsettling dream.
I was with the circle and my brothers, and we were all going to webster's house, but webster's house was part of a cemetery to which his room opened up to. I commented on how odd it was to live next to a cemetery, let alone have it be a part of your room. He didn't take much notice to it, and i began to look around. Everyone started to leave slowly and I didn't notice until i told my brothers to stop climbing on the gravestones. Then, they ran off and i noticed three graves with bodies on top. I approached with caution as i realized the three bodies were covered with a sheet that seemed to move because of breathing.
I touched the first corpse to discover she was still warm. I lifted away the death shroud and the corpse was still. I guess it can still be considered a corpse even though she wasn't decomposing because she was still dead. It was a young woman, probably my age, and she looked a lot like me, except her chest was bigger and she had very short hair. I touched her body and she stirred, grimaced, and reluctantly opened her eyes. Nikki stood crouched on the second headstone and poked at the second corpse with a long, twisted stick. I watched her do so until the first corpse sat up and turned to me. I asked her what he name was, and she simply said, "So, you're probably really confused." I nodded and she chuckled. "Yeah, i figured. To answer your questions; yes, I am dead. No, you're not crazy, and no, i'm not a zombie. I'm a ghost."
I looked around once again and she whistled to get my attention. I must have been scared because she shook her head and slapped her hand on my shoulder. This, unlike her torso, was ice cold.
"What do you want?" she asked.
"Do you have some unfinished business to deal with?" she shrugged.
"Not really." I pulled out a piece of folded up paper from my pocket and a pencil. I began to write down my address.
"What's all that for?" she asked in a quizzical manner.
"My address, just in case you're one of those traveling ghosts and want something said to the living. You can reach me here." she took the paper and looked up at me. Her gaze gave me the shivers.
"Don't freak. The dead hate that. We're still people, man." She stood up and brushed the dirt off of her. It looked like she rose to the top of her grave through the ground.
"What of the other two?" i asked. Nikki was gone and the two bodies were squirming violently and were notably decaying.
"Don't pay attention to them." She walked into webster's room and picked up a skull on the tower to a computer and began to examine it. I walked behind her and asked, "So, do you need to finish business or something? Since you're a ghost and all?"
"Well, not me personally. To be honest it's not a safe place to be if you're willing to help the dead. Some of them want your help but resent you living and stuff. They could kill you, drive you mad, or a plethora of other stuff." she put the skull down and walked through me.
"You were solid a second ago, man. Do you think you could chill with the walking through shit?" She laughed and walked into a hallway. I followed her into the hall and saw she was standing with another girl. They were taking pictures of random objects and giggling together.
"hello?" i asked, slightly annoyed. they both looked at me for a second as an older woman came in with a camera of her own. She smiled and ran up to hug the corpse girl. I assumed it was her mother.
"oh, sweetie, how nice it is to see you!" she said, wiping tears from her eyes. It was so touching i almost started to cry.
"It's nice to see you too. I missed you." the corpse girl said. The mother then backed away and waved at me.
"C'mere, sweetie. Any friend of hers is a friend of mine! Picture time!" I reluctantly stood next to the girl. Soon, i lightened up and we all posed and danced around as her mother took pictures. I looked at the clothing the girl wore and noticed they weren't of the best quality. I was wearing my favorite shirt suddenly, and i offered it to her. She agreed joyfully and I took off my shirt and she put it on. It ended up matching nicely and she noted that. Then, she gave her mother a hug and the girl a hug and walked back to her grave. She asked me to put the sheet back over her head. She laid on the dirt and said thank you, and i put the sheet over her face. The movement of her and the other two immediately stopped, and there was dead silence. I examined the area; the mother and girl were gone, as well as everyone else. So i wandered the cemetery the rest of the evening until i found a grave for myself. Then i sat down on the grave and straightened my hat. I laid down, placed the shroud over my face and body, and fell asleep. Or died, i don't know.
andddd that's it.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
I actually slept last night.
Awesome.
However, I had a discomforting dream afterwards. I swear, I can't have sleep without trippy dreams. D: It involved the circle, an old friend of mine who doesn't talk to me anymore, my parents, seeing a movie, and walking down a dirt road and daring the speed of an invisible train.
The old friend of mine was hurt, and crying the entire dream. I tried to talk to him, and help him, but his anger kept me from going near him. I suddenly feel guilty for being so mad at him recently. I mean, when he was alone and in need, I gave up an hour of my day each day and I paid a deal of money to try to help him out. He was in the military, and he was miserable. I couldn't stand seeing him hurt, so I tried to keep communication with him, even if it meant paying 150 dollars in extra phone charges so I can call long distance. I mailed him the occasional care package and gave him a bunch of my drawings I thought he'd like. For god's sake, I made the fool cookies and sent it out. He didn't believe me. I think he was appreciative, though.
Anyhow, he helped me through some hard times and I know I annoyed the shit out of him, and I hoped I was there enough to help him, too. However, when he came out on leave, I realized that when he got out for good, I wouldn't see him. I knew that one he got out here again, he'd stop calling and out and out stop talking to me.
And for that, I resented him. It doesn't change the fact that it was inevitable, but I hated thinking that I cared so much. I'm such a pushover.
However, I don't regret calling. I don't regret the letters and the conversations, nor do I regret the arguments and the drama we brought into each others lives. He helped me in small ways, and I hope I did the same for him. I really hope I didn't care and feel so much for no good reason.
Nevertheless, I'm not drinking caffiene before bed anymore. It brings up old memories and current issues, and I'd honestly prefer to forget my emotions. I'm supposed to be happy and cheerful and when I'm not, I get shit for it. So, once more, I'll try to put aside these nagging, biting feelings for another day at another time.
blugh.
However, I had a discomforting dream afterwards. I swear, I can't have sleep without trippy dreams. D: It involved the circle, an old friend of mine who doesn't talk to me anymore, my parents, seeing a movie, and walking down a dirt road and daring the speed of an invisible train.
The old friend of mine was hurt, and crying the entire dream. I tried to talk to him, and help him, but his anger kept me from going near him. I suddenly feel guilty for being so mad at him recently. I mean, when he was alone and in need, I gave up an hour of my day each day and I paid a deal of money to try to help him out. He was in the military, and he was miserable. I couldn't stand seeing him hurt, so I tried to keep communication with him, even if it meant paying 150 dollars in extra phone charges so I can call long distance. I mailed him the occasional care package and gave him a bunch of my drawings I thought he'd like. For god's sake, I made the fool cookies and sent it out. He didn't believe me. I think he was appreciative, though.
Anyhow, he helped me through some hard times and I know I annoyed the shit out of him, and I hoped I was there enough to help him, too. However, when he came out on leave, I realized that when he got out for good, I wouldn't see him. I knew that one he got out here again, he'd stop calling and out and out stop talking to me.
And for that, I resented him. It doesn't change the fact that it was inevitable, but I hated thinking that I cared so much. I'm such a pushover.
However, I don't regret calling. I don't regret the letters and the conversations, nor do I regret the arguments and the drama we brought into each others lives. He helped me in small ways, and I hope I did the same for him. I really hope I didn't care and feel so much for no good reason.
Nevertheless, I'm not drinking caffiene before bed anymore. It brings up old memories and current issues, and I'd honestly prefer to forget my emotions. I'm supposed to be happy and cheerful and when I'm not, I get shit for it. So, once more, I'll try to put aside these nagging, biting feelings for another day at another time.
blugh.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Not your father's Star Trek!
I have a little problem with the new catch line for the Abrams' Star Trek.
Actually, I have a big fucking problem.
Uh, what exactly was wrong with our father's Star Trek? I mean, if it was good enough for you to get your grubby little hands on and redo, then it couldn't have been that bad.
Oh, unless he's referring to the social stigma it so wrongly is considered. In which case, he should be flogged, due to Abrams actually worsening the "stigma" Star Trek is on nerdom. By saying it's not our father's Star Trek is basically saying, "Hey! This isn't like the old show at all! It's cool! It's Hip! It's NOT Star Trek!" I honestly can't figure out a way to describe it for people who don't watch Star Trek. It's like an insult. It's like if someone took Casablanca and remade it.
Except in this Casablanca, the lead role would be played by Zac Efron and they'd add blood, explosions, and violence where there was none previously. It'd be in color with shitty Special effects and in the trailer, Rick Blaine would be shooting French people in the face with weapons that weren't invented yet while simultaneously making out with Ilsa, who is played by Miley Cyrus. The tag line would read,
"NOT YOUR GRANDPARENTS' CASABLANCA!!!"
I'll admit, it sounds kinda cool minus the casting, but it still isn't Casablanca. No one should temper with a classic like Casablanca, or in this case, Star Trek.
But, if Hollywood wants it done, Hollywood will get it done. *sigh* unfortunately...
On another topic, I'm hopefully finishing my vests today. Or at least one. This week I'm going to go to school completely 70s in style. Skirts, vests, bell bottoms, shirts tucked in, headbands, etc. Oh, and no shoes. :D I don't much like shoes anyway. Fuck having nice feet. Feet were there to be walked on and they know how to take rough conditions.
I watched a movie-thing on Led Zeppelin yesterday with my mom. I think my new celebrity crush is Robert Plant. I couldn't catch the name of the movie, however, so I can't go out and buy it. D: sadpanda. I wish i could have taped it. It would have made certain points in my future much more interesting.
Well, I've taken a break long enough. Back to vest making.
Later, dudes.
~Jew.
Actually, I have a big fucking problem.
Uh, what exactly was wrong with our father's Star Trek? I mean, if it was good enough for you to get your grubby little hands on and redo, then it couldn't have been that bad.
Oh, unless he's referring to the social stigma it so wrongly is considered. In which case, he should be flogged, due to Abrams actually worsening the "stigma" Star Trek is on nerdom. By saying it's not our father's Star Trek is basically saying, "Hey! This isn't like the old show at all! It's cool! It's Hip! It's NOT Star Trek!" I honestly can't figure out a way to describe it for people who don't watch Star Trek. It's like an insult. It's like if someone took Casablanca and remade it.
Except in this Casablanca, the lead role would be played by Zac Efron and they'd add blood, explosions, and violence where there was none previously. It'd be in color with shitty Special effects and in the trailer, Rick Blaine would be shooting French people in the face with weapons that weren't invented yet while simultaneously making out with Ilsa, who is played by Miley Cyrus. The tag line would read,
"NOT YOUR GRANDPARENTS' CASABLANCA!!!"
I'll admit, it sounds kinda cool minus the casting, but it still isn't Casablanca. No one should temper with a classic like Casablanca, or in this case, Star Trek.
But, if Hollywood wants it done, Hollywood will get it done. *sigh* unfortunately...
On another topic, I'm hopefully finishing my vests today. Or at least one. This week I'm going to go to school completely 70s in style. Skirts, vests, bell bottoms, shirts tucked in, headbands, etc. Oh, and no shoes. :D I don't much like shoes anyway. Fuck having nice feet. Feet were there to be walked on and they know how to take rough conditions.
I watched a movie-thing on Led Zeppelin yesterday with my mom. I think my new celebrity crush is Robert Plant. I couldn't catch the name of the movie, however, so I can't go out and buy it. D: sadpanda. I wish i could have taped it. It would have made certain points in my future much more interesting.
Well, I've taken a break long enough. Back to vest making.
Later, dudes.
~Jew.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
God damn dude it's almost summer.
Oh man, FUCK YES.
My brother walked into my room this morning and was all,
"Tch, you know Amanda... I'm really happy."
"And why is that?"
"It feels like summer. I mean, I get this really awesome feeling, and I'm nostalgic and it makes me feel like summer five years ago when Aunt Sharon and Aunt Deb came out. Remember that?"
"Dude, I so know what you're talking about."
"Yeah. This feeling is made of win."
Oh man, this feeling IS made of win. I'm motivated again, I'm eating healthier and I'm actually wanting to leave the house and socialize. My crippling fear of human beings has subsided and now I want to love and talk to everyone and just spread around my happiness.
Last year around this time I was all Simon and Garfunkel'd out. Man, I wore headbands and flowing skirts and vests and I didn't wear shoes and I danced EVERYWHERE. I jumped in puddles and kicked pebbles and made music by turning anything and everything into a drum. I was a regular fucking free-spirit and even my parents' douchebaggery couldn't keep me from being happy.
I swear, man, I'm gonna revel in awesome this summer. I'll be able to drive, and I'll be legal, so I'm just astounded with the possibilities. Almost everyone is staying in the AV and those that aren't will visit, or I'll take others and visit them up there. Kraut's gonna be an hour or two away, and so is my Louie. Man, I'll finally be able to meet that fool. D: After knowing him since late seventh grade, it's like we've met a long time ago. Jesus.
beach trips, man. I think the circle should go camping on the beach this summer. We can get a fire permit and have a big bonfire and roast weenies and make s'mores and have Webster and Woody play guitar and sara and everyone else play the bongos, and we'll be like a big group of hooligans. Of course, the only down side is that the world will explode from the gratuitous amount of pure awesome we'll emit.
Building sandcastles, splashing in the water, skipping rocks and lurking the piers by day, tribal shenanigans by night. Oh, I think this is an awesome plan.
We'll just need someone to help me organize it, some cash so we can actually rent a space, and sun screen. Oh god, the sun screen chelle and I will need. D:
It'll be like those stupid, unrealistic movies where the super hot, dumb blonde girls take their equally stupid boyfriends and they have an awesome time at the beach. Except there will be less sex and more lightsaber battling. And no one loses their organs! Yeah!
I'm gonna go clean my room, then do my chores and shower. Oh, how sweet today shall be. :D I wish you all a big fucking hug.
~Jew
(p.s. I deleted all of my old posts because they depressed me. I really had a shitty year last year, and I decided to just wipe the slate clean and start the fuck over. D:)
My brother walked into my room this morning and was all,
"Tch, you know Amanda... I'm really happy."
"And why is that?"
"It feels like summer. I mean, I get this really awesome feeling, and I'm nostalgic and it makes me feel like summer five years ago when Aunt Sharon and Aunt Deb came out. Remember that?"
"Dude, I so know what you're talking about."
"Yeah. This feeling is made of win."
Oh man, this feeling IS made of win. I'm motivated again, I'm eating healthier and I'm actually wanting to leave the house and socialize. My crippling fear of human beings has subsided and now I want to love and talk to everyone and just spread around my happiness.
Last year around this time I was all Simon and Garfunkel'd out. Man, I wore headbands and flowing skirts and vests and I didn't wear shoes and I danced EVERYWHERE. I jumped in puddles and kicked pebbles and made music by turning anything and everything into a drum. I was a regular fucking free-spirit and even my parents' douchebaggery couldn't keep me from being happy.
I swear, man, I'm gonna revel in awesome this summer. I'll be able to drive, and I'll be legal, so I'm just astounded with the possibilities. Almost everyone is staying in the AV and those that aren't will visit, or I'll take others and visit them up there. Kraut's gonna be an hour or two away, and so is my Louie. Man, I'll finally be able to meet that fool. D: After knowing him since late seventh grade, it's like we've met a long time ago. Jesus.
beach trips, man. I think the circle should go camping on the beach this summer. We can get a fire permit and have a big bonfire and roast weenies and make s'mores and have Webster and Woody play guitar and sara and everyone else play the bongos, and we'll be like a big group of hooligans. Of course, the only down side is that the world will explode from the gratuitous amount of pure awesome we'll emit.
Building sandcastles, splashing in the water, skipping rocks and lurking the piers by day, tribal shenanigans by night. Oh, I think this is an awesome plan.
We'll just need someone to help me organize it, some cash so we can actually rent a space, and sun screen. Oh god, the sun screen chelle and I will need. D:
It'll be like those stupid, unrealistic movies where the super hot, dumb blonde girls take their equally stupid boyfriends and they have an awesome time at the beach. Except there will be less sex and more lightsaber battling. And no one loses their organs! Yeah!
I'm gonna go clean my room, then do my chores and shower. Oh, how sweet today shall be. :D I wish you all a big fucking hug.
~Jew
(p.s. I deleted all of my old posts because they depressed me. I really had a shitty year last year, and I decided to just wipe the slate clean and start the fuck over. D:)
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